


Mutually Exclusive

by louhilainen



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Comedy, Drama, F/F, Female Jakob, Genderbending, Jakobine, Yes you read that right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 17:35:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louhilainen/pseuds/louhilainen
Summary: The men of Corrin’s Army decide to play a game. Corrin’s maid decides that she will have none of it.





	Mutually Exclusive

**Author's Note:**

> And now for something entirely different.
> 
> Jakobine was the brainchild of fellow author and artist [louhilainen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louhilainen/pseuds/louhilainen), who came up with the [headcanon](http://louhilainen.tumblr.com/post/165084950161/jakobine-and-her-mistress-and-some-headcanons), as well as some amazing art. The concept sank its claws into me, and this was the result - a creative collaboration.
> 
> Please check out some of her [work](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louhilainen/pseuds/louhilainen), as well as her [tumblr](http://louhilainen.tumblr.com/)! As well as being incredibly talented, she is a genuinely wonderful person, supportive, kind and, like you and me, a HUGE fan of Jakob/Corrin.

The sound of laughter stung like an open wound, harsh against her ears and she felt the heat in her blood rise to her face. Jakobine clasped her hands behind her back and barely resisted the urge to scowl, struggling to retain her composure for the sake of her princess.

“Are you serious?” Niles asked, and a shudder of revulsion raced up her spine as she felt his gaze settle on the skin exposed at the lace-trimmed edge of her skirts. “Last I checked, you had no interest in kissing anyone.”

Jakobine didn’t even do him the courtesy of meeting his eye as she responded. “No, that would just be you.” The mess hall filled with the simultaneous howl of a dozen or so men watching on as the exchange took place, clapping and stomping in amusement. She cast a withering glare over the gathering, a coincidental collection of soldiers and retainers, who had been source of this concept and then allowed it to spiral quickly out of control.

“I care not for battle against the likes of you,” she snapped coldly, “but I would sooner _rot_ than allow swine such as yourselves to lay a finger on Lady Corrin.”

“You’re… sure about this?” The question came from Silas this time. “I don’t know how I feel about duelling anyone here, much less a woman.”

Jakobine huffed in impatience. He was a handsome fellow, but she found him much more appealing when he kept his mouth closed. ”Yet you still play along, every part the idiot I expect you to be.”

Silas flushed bright red and tried to clear his throat. “I-I want to kiss Corrin,” he stammered.

“Cute,” she intoned dryly. “And you may – once I am dead and buried.”

“Look, girl,” it was Niles again, and this time, Jakobine embraced the anger that built like a volatile pressure in her throat. It would make stomping his balls into the ground that much more satisfying. “You seem to be having difficulty understanding, so let me kindly spell it out for you: It’s just a little game amongst _gentlemen_. There’s no need to get your knickers in a knot.”

Jakobine felt her jaw clench with the effort it took to keep her voice steady. “Address me in such a manner again and I will slice off your prick and force it down Leo’s throat.”

“My, my, such language quite becomes your pretty face. I assure you that my lord – and that would be _Prince_ Leo to you, my dear – does not need to be forced to take any part of me. I couldn’t say the same for you, though. You seem to have trouble getting your precious princess to even spare a glance at you.”

Fury exploded in her chest. In an instant, the dagger was in her hands and then buried with a thud in the wooden beam behind Niles before she even realised what had happened. She saw red at the edges of her vision and red as the wound opened on Niles’ cheek, just below his eye patch.

Silence fell over the entire crowd.

“You cut me, you little bitch.”

“And I’ll _cut you again, just try me.”_

Kaze stepped forward, trying to place himself in between the two, his hands held up as though he anticipated that Jakobine would rush the other retainer. “I think we all need to just calm down.”

“Calm down? You’re going to stand there and let this filth have a _round robin tourney_ over who gets to kiss your mistress?”

Kaze sighed. “It’s harmless. And it’s nice to have some motivation while you train.”

Jakobine stared at him, thunderstruck. “You want to kiss her too.”

“Well, no – I – “

“You’re a disgrace!”

“Please, calm yourself. Be reasonable.”

“Oh, let the bitch rant,” Niles spat. “She’s more bark than bite anyway!”

With a snarl, Jakobine lunged at him so fast, the smug grin was still plastered to his face when her fist collided with the bottom of his jaw.

A ragged cheer went up from the gathering – the tournament had begun.

Niles’ head jerked backwards and she drew another dagger, swinging a short, flashing arc through the air that he barely managed to evade in time. She spied the gleam of the sword before Niles had the chance to draw it completely, planting her hands on the ground to neatly flip backwards out of the way.

A long slash appeared in the dark fabric of her uniform, splitting her skirts to expose her bare thigh.

Jeering and shouting erupted through the hall as they faced each other.

Niles laughed. “You’re full of it! You can scream ‘til you’re blue in the face about honour and manners, but we all know _you_ want to fuck her the most!”

_“Silence!”_

The rage made her blind, her vision whiting out for a second and when she came to, she had him on the ground beneath her, her knees pinning his arms as she pummelled his face with her bare fists. Her cries were drowned out by the thunderous roar of the spectating soldiers and hands clamoured to drag her off him.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?”

The sound of her mistress’ voice snapped her out of her frenzy and Niles stole the opportunity to slide his arms out from under Jakobine, levering his hips up and seizing her by the shoulders to slam her down onto her back.

Jakobine fumed, spitting curses as he pinned her to the ground, leaned close and murmured into her ear, “You’re _adorable_ when you’re pissed off.”

 _“Fuck you,”_ she seethed.

“Get off her!”

The crowd parted like leaves before a wind and there she was, Corrin, her mistress, her princess.

“Get off her this instant,” she demanded, reaching for Niles to haul him off Jakobine by the collar. “Leo, control your men.”

“Niles!” The prince shouted.

He released Jakobine and rose, allowing the maid to scramble to her feet also. Both turned to face their masters and bowed in the presence of all five members of the Nohrian royal family, who had been drawn by the noise and disturbance.

Corrin folded her arms, frowning. “Explain yourselves.”

They stood, silent, and Jakobine felt the blood rush to her face in shame.

“It-it was a, um. A competition of sorts,” came Silas’ sweet, hesitant voice. “We were competing to see who could win the right to kiss you.”

Spoken out loud, it sounded ridiculous.

“Kiss me?” Corrin asked incredulously.

No one dared respond.

“And all of you stood here and _watched_ this happen?”

Jakobine tried to clear her name. “Milady, I was only trying to defend you from –“

Corrin held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear it. I expected better from you.”

Her heart sank in dismay as she realised what a horrible lapse in judgement this was.

“I am appalled. You are all to leave at once, and be glad this does not involve punishment.” She turned to regard Silas, Kaze, Laslow and Odin with a look so severe, none could meet her eye. “I will be kissing _no one._ I do not want to hear about this sort of thing again, am I understood?”

The retainers bowed deeply as the crowd started to disperse.

“My sincere apologies, Your Highness,” Jakobine said, trying to keep her hands from shaking as she curtsied.

Corrin shook her head and with a weary sigh that pierced Jakobine’s heart with guilt, gestured for her maid to follow her.

Wordlessly, Jakobine obeyed, cut one last spiteful glare at Niles. He raised a hand to his mouth and put his tongue out between his first two fingers, performing a gesture so lewd, it made her cheeks go pink.

“What were you thinking, Jay?” Corrin asked as they walked, exiting the mess hall and crossing the grounds of the compound, towards the residential forest.

“I… wasn’t,” Jakobine admitted. “I lost my temper when the men said that the prize was to ask you for a kiss. As if you were an object to be won.”

There was a pause as Corrin seemed to digest this. “You didn’t compete?”

Jakobine was taken aback. “You… wanted me to compete?”

Corrin said nothing, casting her a piercing look as she climbed the stairs to her tree house.

Jakobine pulled the door closed behind them gently and turned to find her mistress advancing, a predatory look in her eyes.

The sweet scent of the princess’ perfume was intoxicating and her head reeled as she felt her pulse race, Niles’ mocking words surging back into her thoughts and making her flush hotly.

_We all know you want to fuck her the most._

She tried to take a step back, but there was only solid door behind her and nowhere to run as Corrin moved closer.

“Who won?” She asked quietly.

Jakobine swallowed. “No one. They didn’t get the chance to begin.” She stared at the pale skin of Corrin’s neck against the raised collar of her tunic and tried not to think about how wonderful it would be to press soft kisses there and listen to her moan.

 “Well,” Corrin breathed, and it was barely a sound, “it seems like you had the upper hand when I arrived.”

“I could not let them touch you. They do not deserve such a privilege.”

“But then, who would?”

“Milady, I don’t believe –“

The words lost their meaning midway from her mind to her lips and Jakobine couldn’t fathom the rest of her reply, faint from the sheer fact that her princess stood so close.

“You fought bravely to defend me. I should think that honour belongs to you.”

She had only enough time to draw a breath before Corrin leaned forward on the tips of her toes to pull her into a kiss.

Her heart leapt with something akin to fright and ecstasy, her hands grasping uselessly at the cloth of Corrin’s tunic until she found purchase and dragged her close, pressing herself greedily against the soft, warm curves of her princess as she pushed her tongue past Corrin’s parted lips.

Corrin moaned quietly, her hands growing bold and she found the split where sharp steel had sliced through Jakobine’s skirt and she ran a hand up her thigh, sliding her fingers past the maid’s smallclothes to find her wet and willing.

“Oh, Jay,” she murmured, her fingers rubbing gentle strokes that made Jakobine’s knees want to buckle and the pet name sent a thrill of desire through her. “Jay, you’re so cute. Jay –“

“Jay.”

With a sharp jolt, Jakobine came to her senses, blinking as she realised that they were still strolling across the compound. Corrin peered at her with an expression of mild concern.

“Are you quite all right? Niles didn’t hurt you too badly, did he?”

“N-no, my lady.”

Corrin pressed her lips together in amusement. “You’re thinking about someone, aren’t you?” She smiled.

Jakobine turned away, mortified. “No, my lady.”

“But you are! I’ve never seen you so red. Come, we’ll go to the bath house, you must tell me who he is.”

She hooked an arm through Jakobine’s, leading her towards the southern end of the grounds and Jakobine felt her heart tug with the motion.

“Is it Silas? He _is_ quite handsome, if not a bit dull. Or maybe Kaze?” Her eyes widened in delight. “Is it Kaze?” She giggled, the sound bringing butterflies to life in Jakobine’s stomach. “I should send you two together on reconnaissance more often. Ah, you would make a _beautiful_ couple.”

Jakobine swallowed, carefully forming a smile in return even though her stomach writhed, sick with despair. “You are too kind, milady.”

She tightened her grip on Corrin’s arm, knowing that she would sooner pluck the moon from the sky than ever stand a chance of ever having her feelings returned.


End file.
